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I have to say I've had some experience when it came to men. I was unhappily married to Mr. Muscle. He used his strength for horrible purposes, and I left to save my life. Could he overpower me? Oh yes! Was it worth it? I have scars to show it was not. Then I dated them all. Body builders, intellects, businessmen, doctors...you name it. Each came with their unique set of qualities. Some were taller, some almost as smart. :-) All of them wanting to please me in some way. I searched within those qualities, knowing what I wanted most was to lose. I wanted an equal match in minds (at least), unequal match in bodies, and some form of understanding me.
When I met the man who is now my husband, he took my breath away. For a number of reasons. One, I got to know him before I met him. It was a meeting of minds first. We talked, talked, shared, discovered and pondered. He discovered my desire to submit, although I did not call it that at the time! Imagine my surprise when the door opened to this man, at 6'3" filled out his suit and I could have melted. My fist words to him, "I can get around you", which we laugh about to this very day.
What lured me from the very beginning was his quiet dominance. His control at all times of conversations. His ability to understand how I came to any conclusion. He stopped my quiet manipulation and ranting with only understanding me and validating feelings. How did this man get to this point? Oddly enough growing up he was a highly sensitive boy. He was mortified if anyone spoke to him. His father 'fixed' his ADD way back when. It went like this "Are you paying attention to me boy" and Smack...a good one across the head. Fixed the attention deficit permanently. He turned bright red when a woman or teacher singled him out. He lived in his own world and had very limited social skills. As he grew, he found sports and excelled. It was during this period he grew into himself. But it was his highly sensitive self that allowed him to understand others. From that, he bundled his own desires and sexual titillations and find his dominance within. He knew easily that his size and strength could dominate, but recognized that would be taking the easy way out. He fine-tuned his mind to do the communicating.